


Canada: It's Better on Top

by torigates



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin is homesick. Barney tries to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Canada: It's Better on Top

Robin stares forlornly into her Starbucks coffee.

“I miss Tim Hortons,” she sighed.

“I can make you forget him and any other guy,” Barney replied with a look and a wink looking up from his own coffee.

Robin just looked at him. “Tim Hortons isn’t some old boyfriend, Barney. It’s a coffee chain.”

Barney stared blankly back at her.

“Canadian icon, named after a famous hockey player. Coffee.” Barney continued to stare at her. “Timbits?” She tried weakly, before huffing a defeated sigh.

“Scherbatsky, you disappoint me,” Barney eventually replied. “How many times have I told you to forget about that pretend country you used to live in?” He asks.

“It’s not a pretend country, Barney!” Robin snapped back exasperated.

“Colony, whatever,” Barney says waving his hand. “That doesn’t change the fact that you need to get over it, and accept you live in a real country now. America,” he said the last word like he was talking to a four-year-old.

“Colony—!” Robin looked at him in disbelief. “I’ll have you know, Canada has been a country since 1867!”

Barney continued to look at her patiently.

“Whatever, you’re just messing with me. I just. I just miss it sometimes.”

“Why would you miss living in an igloo?” Barney asked, only the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

“You know, Toronto gets a lot hotter than some northern states in the summer,” Robin replied. “And Vancouver is quite mild in the winter.”

“Lies, all of it!”

Robin didn’t reply. She just stared wistfully into her coffee.

“So why live here then?” Barney asked more seriously. “Go back to the old country. Farming, or whatever it is you do.”

“Vancouver is a city.”

“Sure it is,” Barney said patiently.

“The work is here,” Robin eventually replied when it became obvious that Barney wanted an actual response to his question. “Can you name one Canadian journalist?”

“Peter Mansbridge,” he said without hesitation.

Robin burst out laughing. “I don’t even want to know how you know that,” she said once she was able to breathe.

“What can I say? I’m _awesome_ ,” Barney said smugly. He looked at her for a moment before continuing, “You should become an American citizen. Join the ranks of awesome. I’d offer to marry you, but that’s more Ted’s territory.”

“No thanks,” Robin chuckled. “I’d rather the RCMP have my back than the FBI any day.”

“Are you _insane_?” Barney said incredulously. “You want Mounties, honest to God _Mounties_ to protect you? No wonder you’re such a sissy country.”

Robin considered for a moment. “You know,” she said slyly, “The beaver is a Canadian symbol.”

Barney broke out into a slow grin. “Scherbatsky! You went there! Nice!” He held out his hand for a high-five, and Robin obliged him.

“Hey, it really is better on top.”

“I supposed I could maybe be convinced to take a trip to the Great White North to see the noble Canadian beaver,” Barney said with a grin.

“I know I should say no for the sake of my fellow countrywomen, but I really do want my timmies,” Robin replied with a smile.

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, before Barney asked, “What the _hell_ is a timbit?” 

**Author's Note:**

> A few notes for my non-Canadian readers...
> 
> 1\. [Tim Hortons](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Hortons) is one of Canada's national symbols and its largest fast food chain (there are more Tim Hortons than McDonalds in Canada). Though it has recently begun to expand to America (and is somewhat ironically owned by an American company).
> 
> 2\. [Timbits](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timbit) are commonly referred to in the States as (I believe) "doughnut holes".
> 
> 3\. [Peter Mansbridge](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Mansbridge) is a famous Canadian news anchor who works for the CBC.


End file.
